i want to change the world, but the world won't listen..

i have always been ignored by those whom i love so much, so dearly. up until now, they refuse to see the apparent about the damage that they have done.. it's not like i want to change the world, eventhough i would love to,.. it's just that i cannot live with such vague of guilt in people... i hate them sometimes, but what am i to do with those who doesn't care about what i think right? am i saying this because this is what i really feel? or am i getting something out of this? i don't know, we'll soon find out...:P~ muack!!!

30th November 2005... the Depression

Sugar Ray - Fly


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i want to not worry anymore.. i want to not feel lonely anymore.. i want to be strong again.. i don't want to endure pain.. i don't want to grieve.. i want my family back.. i want my lost friends back.. i want my lovely childhood back.. i want them together.. i need serenity... am i paranoid?!!

Garbage - I Think I'm Paranoid


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freakynadyadrivesumad Highway County Jail 7 Bankruptcity 19 Wealthville 50 Bewilderment Avenue 134 Bog of Eternal Marriage 314 Please Drive Carefully

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are you on the highway of life?
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Which internet subculture do I belong to? [CLICK] You are a Conspiracy Theorist! Holy cow! You actually did an online quiz? Little did you realise that the information you gave us is being sent to an unknown government agency for evil use against you! Don't try to leave, we are already watching. More Quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

i'm blind

i'm blind. i wish i could see that i am just another selfish and cruel person who will never understand the meaning of just. i should probably just get away and get over this whole havoc surrounding me as soon as possible. i'm nothing more than a horrible person with no feelings. i talk trash and i can never be in good terms with anyone. i'm so sorry that he hates me so much now. but what am i to do? it was my fault that i got into this.. i hate it when i do this.

HaTe MaTe

o why is it me that you despise?
why am i the one surprised?
i have never tried to hurt you
nor have i ever had the thought
how is it that you see me through;
as a person who'd ever hurt you not?
i wanted to be in there
despite me being different
i thought that you would care
but now i do not dare
to be involved with any friends
because someone sould stare
why must there be hate?
i'm in my most ill state
because you lied about me then
how could you be a friend?
i thought highly of you
you told to them all the untrue
and now i'm lost to you
as in a court you'll grin to me
you've won without a thought
why is it there?
this feeling of despair?
i know i shouldn't care, o there,
there the deep despair
i hope that GOD forgive me
if i were to did HIM wrong
i hope that you'd forgive me
though my wrong, i did not long
to do to you, why you?
think again, my "friend"
if you would still
accept this will
i have to be straight
i don't want regret
so how do you want it?
-freakoutcuzimhere-

look at yourself

look at yourself before you judge others. you menace your life and affect others too. how can you say you are right, when the truth is that you are wrong.how can you just turn the table. scroundelling with other people's mind and not apologising for what you have done.grow up, old man. grow up. dont you blame me, 'cause i just care.i AM growing, so leave me alone. you cannot even make other people happy, but i can; you cannot make the best out of the smallest or the worst but i can.leave with it idiot, you have preached once... keep all your preaching, and take it all back! apply it to yourself!

if there is one thing i could do rite now..

if there is one thing that i could right now, i'd sleep! but too bad i'm honest, i do not want to misuse my power...cheh...i'm so fat yet i'm still tired,...wish i could use all the evergy i have for exercising at th gymm..erkk...fatty me..